People who are self-confident transmit messages in a number of ways.

• Smiling. Confident people smile. They have relaxed, natural, sincere smiles. Forced smiles often look like grimaces and give a completely different message. Practise smiling so your cheeks don’t feel tight, and smile when you greet people – this conveys, subliminally, that you are happy to see them (see box, next)
• An erect posture. Confident people sit or stand with an erect posture. It opens the airways and allows the organs to work effectively. Standing up straight with the head held high presents a confident demeanour
• Being open. An innate response to threats is to protect yourself by making yourself as small as possible, and/or by crossing your arms and legs. The subliminal message when we do this is that we are frightened or lack confidence. Avoiding crossed arms: initiating a handshake and using palms facing upwards all denote openness and confidence. By contrast, downward facing palms suggest aggression – literally, ‘pressing down’
• Making eye contact. Confident people hold the gaze of others. They are not frightened to look people in the face. They will look away, but will come back to making eye contact regularly. They will neither blink too frequently nor stare; either can transmit a lack of confidence or aggression
• Not fidgeting. Fidgeting suggests nervous energy. When we are nervous (or stressed), the release of adrenaline along with a range of other hormones and mediators leads to the excess energy that expresses itself as fidgeting. Making a conscious effort to suppress fidgeting will suppress this autonomic response
• Calm breathing. Shallow, chest breathing is another part of the fight-or-flight reaction. Taking calmer, deeper breaths (stomach breathing) gives an impression of confidence.