Rapport is a subtle technique, but it is not about manipulating another person. The technique can be gained in seconds. Rapport should and must only have a positive intent for both parties. So how do we begin to consciously establish rapport with someone at an unconscious level? We simply become like the other person. Basically, you are going to match and mirror the behaviour of the patient or customer to establish rapport.

• Behaviour – Matching is when we deliberately imitate a portion of another person’s behaviour. For example, in a consultation, if the patient sits back on their chair, you should do the same thing. Mirroring is reflecting back someone’s behaviour as in a mirror. If your patient positions their right arm on the arm of their chair, you should position your left arm on your chair arm. Remember that 93 per cent of all communication is based on voice tonality and your physiology, so it makes sense to match and mirror those of your patients and customers.
  
  
• Physiology – Whether standing or sitting, you can match another person’s physiology. You could choose to match or mirror their posture, facial expression, hand gestures, movements and eye blinking. You may think that this is not possible and would be too obvious to the patient or customer. It will be too obvious if you make large sweeping movements. The secret to rapport is subtlty and once you have that you will notice major changes. Breathing rate is important. If you match someone’s pattern, you can change any emotional state. When a person is speaking they are breathing out; so, while they are speaking, you should be breathing out. And as they stop to breathe in, you should breathe in at the same time. I cannot emphasise how much change you can bring about in a person when you match their breathing.
  
  
• Voice – You can learn to match anyone’s voice tone (pitch), tempo (speed), timbre (quality) and volume. Recently, I worked with a pharmacist who was experiencing some personal difficulties. In our first consultation, for the first three minutes, he spoke very quickly and I could see the anxiety in his face. I spent at least three minutes matching the speed and tone of his voice and then lowered my tone. I then slowed my voice down and he followed until he was relaxed. He could then speak at a normal rate. Matching the voice is so important in all areas of customer and patient care. And like the physiology technique, this should be carried out in a subtle manner.
  
  
• Information chunk size – As you listen to people, you will notice whether they provide information in small or large chunks. Pay attention to how people group their words. There is little point in providing large quantities of information in one chunk to someone who needs it to be broken down into smaller chunks.
  
  
• Common experiences – I think pharmacists do this quite well. We often talk to people about common experiences such as the weather or what is happening in the world. Most conversations usually commence with something the speakers have in common. Common interests, background, beliefs and values, ideologies and common associations are all areas that can be explored to build rapport.
  
  
• Modality – In a recent P3 article ‘Better employee communication’ we explored the concept of how we think and how this impacts on our communication. Each person displays a prominent thinking pattern that can be visual, auditory, kinesthetic or auditory digital. We demonstrated certain characteristics associated with each of these patterns. How can we match a thinking pattern with our own? A visual person learns by seeing and they will use visual words and statements such as: ‘It looks like’, ‘It appears to be’, ‘I can see the bigger picture’, ‘I want to look at it’, ‘You could picture that’, ‘I can see how that works’. As you listen to your patient and pick up on these key words, you must match their communication by using similar words. Notice if a patient or customer repeats certain words or statements associated with a thinking pattern. If you notice that a patient is visual and says ‘I can’t see how that will work…’ you should use visual words in your response: ‘I understand that it appears that way, could you look at it from this view…’ You are simply picking visual words and feeding them back to the patient. This has an amazing effect on communication. I cannot emphasise enough the impact of talking in the other person’s thinking pattern. I remember the first time I heard about thinking patterns and matching words. I really did not think it would work. However, when you are aware of it, you actually start to listen so carefully to your customers and it is easy to pick up on key words. I am also amazed by how much I must have missed in past consultations.