Trying to broach the subject of mental health with someone can be daunting. It can be helpful to treat the person as if he/she was experiencing a physical illness, so it would be considered perfectly acceptable to enquire as to their wellbeing. Simply asking if they are feeling OK, or if they’d like to go for a walk and chat during a break, invites them to open up if they feel able. Even if they don’t, you’ll have conveyed that you are there for them.

These conversations are about listening, and it’s important to not try and fix them by trying to solve their problems or comparing what they are going through to your own experiences. The Samaritans suggests following the SHUSH mnemonic. 

• Show you care
  Focus on the other person and stay engaged in what they are saying.
• Have patience
  The individual needs to feel it is safe to share their feelings and will only do so if there is trust in the relationship, so don’t rush to fill gaps if they pause when speaking. Be non-judgemental in your listening and allow time for them to reflect and work through what are likely to be difficult emotions.
• Use open questions
  By not imposing your own views and instead using responses such as “tell me more”, the other person is more likely to think about and expand upon their feelings.
• Say it back
  Checking your understanding is a good way of reassuring them that you have been giving them your undivided attention, and are hearing what they want you to hear rather than your own interpretation.
• Have courage 
  It can feel intrusive to ask someone how they are feeling, but follow their cues. Even if they don’t want to talk at that moment, they may come back at another time or realise that talking to someone else is an option.

If someone is exhibiting strong signs of depression or anxiety, encourage them to seek medical help. Many people are reluctant to do so, possibly because there remains a stigma surrounding mental health conditions. This can lead to feelings of embarrassment or shame, or they may be fearful of recriminations, such as social care becoming involved because they have children or losing their job. Reassurance is vital in such cases.

Confidentiality is of paramount importance, even during an informal chat, as it can take a lot of courage to talk about personal mental health, particularly for those who haven’t previously opened up.